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This is straight forward country thinking... Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims: 

1.  If You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.. 
    You may be a Muslim
2. If You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.  
    You may be a Muslim
3. If You have more wives than teeth.  
    You may be a Muslim
4. If You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.  
     You may be a Muslim 

5. If You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.   
     You may be a Muslim
6. If You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against. 
     You may be a Muslim
7. If You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.   
     You may be a Muslim
8. If You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.  
     You may be a Muslim
9. If You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.   
     You may be a Muslim
10. If You find this offensive or racist and don't forward it. 
    You may be a Muslim 

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