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Dateline April 1, 2012 by Roger O’Daniel

This information came to me from several sources.  I share it as I received it.

A person claiming to be Eric Holder leaked to the Washington Post that he plans to give President Obama his letter of resignation on Monday morning, effective immediately.  He recommends that his deputy take his place temporarily until a more permanent placement can be found.  According to the chair of the Congressional Committee investigating the “Fast and Furious” scandal, an agreement that amounted to a plea bargain was reached and coordinated with the President’s Press Secretary.  The issue reached a tipping point when the Congressional committee received the leaked documents from an anonymous employee of the Department of Justice.

The negotiation details remain unclear, but a few topics surfaced that could not be verified.  Mr. Holder faced three counts of Contempt of Congress, five counts of Perjury, and a petition for disbarment from at least three bar associations, including the U.S. Supreme Court Bar Association.  President Obama swore to grant a Presidential pardon unless Congress dropped criminal charges against Mr. Holder.  The resignation became the brokered outcome.

Earlier that afternoon, Minority Leader Ms Pelosi was ejected from the floor of the US Congress for wearing a Chinese coolie hat and a cook’s apron while she ranted about discrimination against oriental Americans by local police and anti-terrorist employees that are derelict in their duty to protect and serve.  She also filed a protest at the sergeant of arms who forcefully led her out of the chamber, claiming he pinched her buttocks.

This entire affair started with an altercation at a mobile lunch wagon and catering service known as “Wonton Louie.”  It seems that Louie was catering oriental food to the Congressional Committee pondering Eric Holder’s fate when a drive-by shooter opened up on his truck with a US Army assault weapon.

Egg rolls cruised downhill to nowhere.  Chinese noodles and soy sauce were everywhere.  The shooter’s car slid on the noodles and rammed a Brinks armored car with armed Brinks employees inside.  They apprehended the shooter and driver.  They also detained and cautiously disarmed Wonton Louie wielding a Swedish World War-II imitation samurai sword with intent to kill the shooters.  Later inspection of the gun showed that it was a “Fast and Furious” weapon using regulation Army ammunition.  The shooter insisted the weapon was not his because he could not own a gun as a convicted felon.  He also claimed that the Brinks guards unlawfully detained him because of his race.  He also insisted on being patted down by a woman because he was gay.

Mr. Sharpton insisted on engaging the ACLU to sue Brinks for the unlawful detainer and racial harassment.  Al Gore arranged for the city sanitation department to clean up the mess and bill Wonton Louie for the cleanup cost.  Wonton Louie also was ticketed for parking a disabled vehicle in a loading zone.

Later that evening, Mr. Holder categorically denied everything claiming it all was an April fool joke.  Ms. Pelosi and Mr. Gore agreed with that assessment.

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Comment by Nancy Sternberg on July 1, 2012 at 5:40pm

Wishful thinking.


Author
Comment by Roger O'Daniel on May 3, 2012 at 11:27pm

This is for real.  According to NewsMax, the US Congress drafted a 44-page citation against Eric Holder for Contempt of Congress.  Here is the link:

http://www.newsmax.com/Newsfront/holder-contempt-fast-furious/2012/...


Author
Comment by Roger O'Daniel on April 1, 2012 at 6:25pm

Actually, @Darla Dawald, I didn't mind.  Your avitar adds more class to my site than mine ever could.  However, I can understand why you would want to change it back  And here I thought it was an early April Fool joke.  Sorry about that..

@Richard Charles Wagener, I made the whole thing up.  None of it is true.  Well, considering the mindsets of our current crop of politicians, there might be a wee bit of hidden truth.  I will consult with my clairvoyant mentor, Wisesooth.


N. Director
Comment by Darla Dawald on April 1, 2012 at 5:59pm

Roger I have no idea why faces do not match on the blogs but we are looking into that.

Comment by Richard Charles Wagener on April 1, 2012 at 4:01pm

I don't know what is true and what isn't about this story, but one thing I will agree with they are their party symbol personified and a big bunch of fools.

Comment by Joan McDaniel on April 1, 2012 at 2:27pm

Congrads I quickly read up to the third paragraph then said 'It must be April Fool"  Good job.  I just wish wishing could make it so.


Author
Comment by Roger O'Daniel on April 1, 2012 at 1:48pm

"Aliens Are Watching US" and "5 Gigawatt Laser" were prior year April Fool jokes, also available on this site.  I had a difficult time coming up with an encore to those two pieces.

Actually, PAN jumped the gun on their April Fool jokes with their lates rendition of PAN-2. Without warning, they resurrected a blog site I used to beta test PAN-2's blog feature with nothing in it and no way to get rid of it.  I had a message waiting notification that I can neither read nor remove.  The most laughable part is they replaced most avitars of blog authors with Darla Dawalds face.  Although I agree that she is a lot prettier to look at than my "thinker on stool" avitar, she is not even close to a look-alike of a male blogger.

Comment by Lennie on April 1, 2012 at 10:11am

Given the clowns who run DC this could be mistaken as a real news story . As far as the tactics are concerned , that is probably what actually will happen .

Comment by Judy on April 1, 2012 at 1:35am
Cute

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